Never Say “Moist” At Wyndover College by Jackson Gordon S

Author:Jackson, Gordon S.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Black Rose Writing
Published: 2019-10-03T00:00:00+00:00

. . .

Another voice of protest came from the world of music. Two of this year’s seniors and three juniors had hung out in the summer exploring their mutual interest in rock music. Each of the five concluded they constituted a deep enough pool of talent to form a band when they returned to Wyndover. They saw their music as cutting edge and on their website described their style as a mix of retro-fusion metal imbued with strains of protest techno-punk.

Naturally, they needed a name. They rejected dozens of possibilities, including “The Cheerful Manatee,” “The Diaphanous Codpiece,” and “The Luminous Spittoon” before Word-Free entered their lives. Immediately after Ryan Chambers’ Convocation announcing the program, their choice was obvious: either “Moist” or “The Moisturizers.” Either name would be banned under Word-Free, which is exactly what the protest strains of their music demanded.

While they debated the merits of each option, one of the band gleefully told an RD of the plan. The RD, however, portraying potentially grim consequences of using any forbidden words, talked the band out of their defiant plan. Instead, they opted for “Damp.” He assured them that if the word “damp” were subsequently added to the List, they’d probably have a good case for keeping the name. He said something about “primogeniture” being on their side, which they didn’t understand and which he only vaguely grasped himself and knew didn’t apply. But he thought it would reassure them.

The band was duly formed, and Damp played several gigs in town as well as on campus. The members never said anything in their performances about their protest, but given their name, any Wyndover student got the message. Overall, though, the band had negligible impact on Word-Free. Seeing that wasn’t the group’s main intention anyway, they weren’t disappointed; their focus was on sharpening their act and going commercial when all five graduated.

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